


ill at ease

by universecharm



Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 07:49:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14972480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/universecharm/pseuds/universecharm
Summary: A commission for alleycatking on tumblr! Avocato has a nightmare and Gary helps him back to sleep.





	ill at ease

Night time on the Galaxy One, or in space as a general place, was a rather strange experience the first few times one had to live through it. 

Gary had gotten used to it over the course of several years, but when he first departed from earth it was…

Well, things were, in short, kind of hard to adjust to at first. Adjusting to time as a concept being completely and entirely simulated, and to the strange artificial gravity was no small feat. 

The gravity was only a prototype, and despite what the Infinity Guard said, it wasn’t built to be used in long term, especially with switching between 0G and 1G frequently. The ships gravity was just a little too fake to satisfy his mind, making him feel like he was falling through space if he were to sit still for too long at a time. He had a habit of standing up and collapsing throughout the first few weeks that he spent in space, too.

The sun didn't rise anymore, because there was no sun that could rise. There was no moon, no clouds, nothing. Just the way that the lights on the walls and along the ceiling pulsed and changed color with the passing hours, taunting him.

Gary understood it better than anyone else in the entire universe just how  _ upsetting  _ it could feel the first few nights in space, knowing it would be long term. After all, he  _ had  _ tried to ram himself head first through the window after a week and a half of it. He ended up giving himself a concussion and HUE made him stay in intensive care for more than a whole week after that little  _ incident.  _

Even after all that time, he still had trouble keeping a stable sleeping schedule, so he spent around an hour and a half (at the absolute minimum) nearly every night wandering around the halls, enjoying the peace and quiet before he eventually went back to bed for the night, with the only exceptions being if he had collapsed from overexertion the day before, but that had only happened a few times in the past.

He paced around the ship often enough that it didn’t really surprise him all that much when he inevitably found Avocato sitting silently in the commissary with a cup of coffee in his hands, staring into its murky depths like it held the answer to life's greatest questions. He knocked on the wall gently, letting his companion know of his whereabouts.

Avocato flinched and whipped his head around, his coffee spilling a few drops over the edge, still full despite the fact that no steam rose from the surface of the cup. Avocato’s eyes were unfocused and wild, his fur standing on end. Gary slowly walked into the room, his blanket trailing quietly on the floor behind him.

The lights lining the ceiling were dim, only radiating a soft yellow pulse, dim enough that the fine details of the room were obscured by shadows. The stars outside cast a gentle glow through the room as well, but only faintly.

(Gary remembered reading in one of the dozens of manuals for the ship that the lights pulsed to help keep him calm, to help subconsciously level his breathing out.)

He pulled a chair up and turned it backwards, resting his head on the back of it as he sat next to Avocato, who did not take his eyes off of Gary the entire time. “You okay, man?”

Avocato blinked, blowing air out through his nose and putting his face in his hands, trying to collect himself. “Yeah. I’m good. It’s fine- I’m fine.” His voice shook, like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Gary.

“You sure?”

There was a thick moment of silence, the air crackling between them.

Avocato shook his head. Gary bit his bottom lip and sighed.

“Can- can I help you, somehow? Do you want me to go back to my room, or stay and help you calm down, or-”

“ _ Please  _ stay _ , _ ” Avocato whispered, wrapping his arms around himself and pulling his legs up to his chest. Gary’s breath caught in his throat. Avocato had never looked so…  _ small _ , before. So vulnerable.

He offered his hand to Avocato, palm up. “I’m not going anywhere, buddy. I’m right here.”

Avocato quickly reached his arms out, scooting to the edge of the booth, drawing Gary’s hand close to his chest and wrapping it in his own hands. Gary felt his stomach flutter, but he pushed it down, deciding there were more important things to deal with than his mixed feelings for Avocato.

“Is it okay if I touch you? I don’t wanna like, overstep any… boundaries.”

Avocato nodded just a little bit, and Gary wrapped his free arm around his shoulders, pulling him in for a half hug. Avocato sighed with relief, resting his head against the top of Gary’s. They stayed like that for a long while, pressed close together while the stars passed by out the window. Gary could feel Avocato’s heart beating through his shirt, rapid and steady. The engines of the ship provided a dull hum that filled any silence that may have wanted to seep between them.

“...I had a nightmare.”

Gary nodded, rubbing his back. “I figured. You wanna talk about it, or do you want me to distract you, or...?”

Avocato was quiet for a long moment. Gary almost started talking again, but Avocato spoke first.

“Lord Commander is- he’s really dead, isn’t he?”

Gary laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood. “Well, yeah. We did it together, man. You were right there when it happened.”

Avocato made a noncommittal grunting sound and buried his face into Gary’s hair, pulling him closer. Gary looked up at him and smiled cautiously, loving the warmth that came with his close proximity but still wanting more than anything to comfort him. 

“Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay… you’re  _ safe _ , man. I promise.”

Avocato took a deep breath and held it, holding him tighter. Gary awkwardly patted his back.

“Want me to get you a snack? I can stay in your room for the night. If you have another nightmare you can just wake me up and I’ll help you calm down and stuff. Sound good to you?”

Avocato just shrugged again, all emotions drained from his face. He wouldn’t meet Gary’s eyes, either. Gary pulled him a little out of the booth and Avocato calmly allowed it to happen, standing up and looking down at the ground. His ears were flat against the top of his head, his whole being seemingly pulled down with exhaustion and sent rigid with anxiety. Gary stood on his toes and looked up at him, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tightly. Avocato staggered backwards at first, then hummed, leaning against Gary and closing his eyes.

Gary rubbed his back and took slow, deep breaths, letting Avocato’s breathing fall into line with his own, with the faintly pulsing lights lining the ship…

They swayed back and forth for a while, Gary allowing Avocato’s universe to narrow down to just the two of them, so all he had to worry about was this moment, and the two of them. Gary only stopped when Avocato yawned, shaking his head. Gary smiled, feeling his cheeks warm up as he slowly pulled Avocato down the hallway towards his room. 

Avocato was almost in a trance, unblinking, eyes flickering wildly around the hall like he was worried something might jump out at him. Gary pressed his lips together and continued walking, relieved once they finally got to Avocato’s room. 

The door slid open and the two of them walked inside, with Gary slowly pulling Avocato into the heavily decorated bedroom without taking time to really look around at all the new things Avocato had put up since officially moving onto the ship. There were things that were much more important that he needed to tend to at the moment. He dropped his own blanket to the floor, sitting Avocato down on the edge of the bed.

“Breathe slow, alright?”

Avocato nodded. He leaned up against Gary and stared down at the floor, adrenaline still buzzing in his veins like crackles of electricity in the air after a thunderstorm.

He breathed slowly through his nose, his eyes still locked onto their shoes. “Sorry… I just-”

“Woah, hey, hey,” Gary cupped his cheek and tilted his head up, looking him in the eyes, “you’ve got nothing to be sorry for! This is what friends do, y’know?”

Avocato smiled and casually wrapped an arm around his back, resting his hand on Gary's hip. “Thanks, man. You're the best friend a guy could ask for.”

Gary froze for a moment, stunned by his sincerity and by his touch, before smiling back at him. “Pfsh. Yeah, I know, I’m kind of awesome, aren’t I?”

Avocato rolled his eyes, smiling at first, before he blinked and sat up straight. “I should get back to sleep. Sorry again for bothering you.”

Gary seemed taken off guard by the sudden change in tone, pressing his lips together and laughing weakly. He put a hand on Avocato’s shoulder. “You weren’t bothering me, man. I love spending time with you.”

Avocato bristled a bit at the word  _ love _ , his cold, guarded facade melting away for a brief moment and revealing his real feelings. He shook his head as he collected himself, gripping his upper arms and pulling his legs up to his chest. “I-... I don’t want you staying up all night because of me, alright? Go back to bed, Gary. Please.”

Gary frowned, crossing his arms. “No.”

“What?”

“I said no. You’re still upset, I’m not quitting on you just because you’re- what, are you worried about letting your guard down around me or what?”

Avocato’s eyes went wide and he spluttered, shaking his head. “You- I just-”

“Avocato,” Gary took his hands, looking down at them and tracing his thumbs over Avocato’s knuckles. Avocato went still and silent, biting down hard on his bottom lip while his breathing evened out. Gary took slow, deep breaths, squeezing Avocato’s hand in time to encourage him to do the same. Avocato followed along.

_ In, 2 3 4… _

_ Out, 2 3 4… _

The world seemed to slow to a stop, the last embers of his anxiety fading away with each breath. Avocato sighed, leaning in and bonking their foreheads together. Gary giggled and smiled at him. “Better?”

“Better.”

Gary looked at him, close, taking in the way he smiled through his eyes and how close he was… He closed his eyes.

“I… keep thinking about what it was like. Working for Lord Commander.”

“Call him Jack,” Gary mumbled, his eyes still shut. Avocato tilted his head. “That was his actual name before he got all nasty. I-I feel like… Calling him that gives him less power, y’know?”

Avocato made a small sound of affirmation. “It was… it was pretty bad, I’m not gonna lie. I didn’t think that anything could be better, y’know?”

Gary nodded, cuddling up against him. “Yeah, I get what you mean… It’s hard, I get that.”

“But… Then I met you. I’ve… Never been this happy before. Not ever. And I wanna thank you for that, Gary,” Avocato whispered, resting his forehead on Gary’s shoulder. 

“I… Wow, that’s- that’s really sweet of you, man! And in all fairness, I feel the same way about you, too…”

Avocato looked confused, tilting his head. His ears flopped to one side and Gary felt his stomach flutter. “It’s-... You’re one of the most… Amazing people I've ever met. I-I love you a lot, y’know?”

Avocato laughed and hid his face. “Stop, man, I’m gonna punch you!”

“You wouldn’t dare hurt me, you love me too mu-” 

Avocato swiftly punched him in the shoulder, smirking. Gary squeaked.

“ _ Rude. _ ” He stretched his arms above his head, closing his eyes and wincing as his spine popped. “So is it, y’know, alright if I stay in here with you? I kinda just don’t wanna walk back to my room now, but, if you don't want me to share a bed with you that’s totally fine by me. But if you did want me to stay with you just in case you have another nightmare or something like that, that’d be totally fine by me! I just-”

Avocato put his hand over Gary’s mouth and yanked him swiftly down to the bed, throwing a heavy blanket over the both of them and facing with his back to Gary. “Don’t make it weird.”

Gary let the blanket settle over his body and he blinked. The lights faded down low, casting a warm haze over everything as Avocato took slow, deep breaths, his body heat comforting Gary in a way that almost overwhelmed him.

He hadn’t been around other people for a very, very long time. He had forgotten, completely, what it was like just… hold someone. He wanted that- wanted to wrap his arms around Avocato and hold him close, safe and warm, free from all danger. Everything in his mind was demanding that he turn around and bask in Avocato’s warmth, and he had no idea  _ why _ .

He rolled over to face Avocato’s back, watching the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, taking in the fresh earthy smell of everything in his room. It felt like  _ home _ in the best way.

He carefully reached out to drape his arm over Avocato’s chest, not wanting to disturb him, but the second that he managed to will himself to get close enough, Avocato rolled over and faced him, their faces inches apart and Gary’s arm awkwardly stuck up in the air with nowhere else to go but around Avocato’s nearly sleeping body. 

Gary could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest, torn between not wanting to disturb Avocato and the nearly primal instinct in the back of his mind demanding that they get  _ closer _ .

He settled for carefully resting his hand on Avocato’s shoulder, closing his eyes and finally allowing himself to touch Avocato, scooting closer so their foreheads touched. Avocato opened one eye and sighed, sliding an arm underneath Gary and picking him up.

Gary made a soft sound as Avocato rolled back over with him in his arms, actually  _ spooning _ him once he was laying back down on his side again. It was magical. Avocato was so  _ warm _ in a way that Gary hadn’t felt since he was a kid, safe and surrounded with nothing but comfort and security and love.

He let his hands drift up to cover Avocato’s over his chest, unable to stop himself from smiling. They both drifted off to sleep like that, wrapped in each other’s embrace.

* * *

_ hot _

_ dark _

_ you stood in the presence of a dying star; powerful and unstoppable and rotten, dangerous, this was no star _

_ lord commander reached out and gripped your throat with horrible phantom pain, throwing you to the ground with a sickening crack _

_ you could feel your head hit a rock as the sound of bitter laughter filled the air and the light was stolen from your vision  _

_ you were going to die here, if you didn't do something, you realized _

_ you would die and he would rob you of everything good in the universe _

_ and you would be alone _

_ and you- _

Avocato woke up with a start, sitting up, fur standing on end, shaking as borderline sobs wracked his body. Gary sat up with him, squinting past the sleepy blurriness in his eyes. “What happened? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Avocato shook his head to clear out the memory of the nightmare, biting down hard on his bottom lip. “Nightmare.”

Gary frowned, wrapping his arms back around Avocato’s chest and pulling him back down. 

“You’re cool now, ‘s fine… Do you wanna talk about it?” Gary mumbled, letting his hand fall to rest on Avocato’s stomach, rubbing small circles into his fur. 

‘...Nah. I’ll be alright.” His anxiety started to simmer down until his head was clear, letting comfort and exhaustion flood into his system at last. Gary’s gentle petting was helping immensely, and Avocato laid back down.

“Mmm.. Alright. I’m right here if ya need me,” he yawned, making a small squeaking sound and pressing his lips together thoughtfully. He scooted closer to Avocato, shamelessly, resting his head between Avocato’s chest and his shoulder blade. Avocato went completely still for a moment, staring down at Gary’s half-sleeping form.

He  _ was _ safe, he reminded himself. Gary was right there alongside him, and wouldn’t be going anywhere. They were both safe, and happy, and…  _ Free _ .

He ran a hand through Gary’s messy hair, brushing it back and touching his forehead, smiling to himself as Gary leaned into the gentle touch, somehow already fast asleep. 

Everything was really, truly fine. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore. They were actually safe now, Lord Commander wouldn’t ever be able to hurt him, or anyone else who he loved, not ever again.

They had actually  _ won. _

He leaned back and tried to go back to sleep, but for some reason his mind was still buzzing. He could feel every sleep-provoked movement of Gary’s body- his heartbeat, his slow and steady breathing, the way he occasionally flinched or twitched… It was strangely intimate in a way. 

Avocato closed his eyes and leaned down as best as he could to kiss the top of Gary’s head. 

“Night, Gary…”

He lay there awake for a few more minutes, listening to the symphony of distant engine sounds, Gary’s breathing, and the gentle tap tap tapping of tiny bits of space debris hitting the side of the ships hull with a faint  _ thud _ . It was almost musical, the lullaby of the cosmos singing him to sleep. 

He felt himself finally start to nod off, the weight of Gary’s body keeping him anchored as he drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> my commissions are still open at 100 words = $1 ! leave a comment or message me on tumblr @colacharm if you're interested!!


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